Internet was out for a while. . . Sorry about that. I hope ya'll didn't think I was ignoring you! Thank you for the feedback. Am going to try and catch up on all my email now.

Sorry again. . .Hugs to all!

Finally did it. . . Please friend me so I don't look lonely and sad when people from High School start finding me :D

Son has one, Mari has one, Husbank has one. . . I figured I better do it to keep up if nothing else. . .

That being said, you know how they recommend friends--Trisha was in the first row of people. . . That sorta hit me out of the blue. Sigh.

Anyway. . . Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000124346611

There's me. . .

I owe emails.. . Been crazy here. . . Mari turned 18 ::screams:: We're having a big party here tonight. . . Fun! In fact, I decide to start facebook to hide from cooking!

Below, a repost from abigail89 and please know all her heartfelt words are mirrored in my own heart. . . I think you all are awesome. Really, words cannot express how much I am touched by what this fandom banded together and achieved. It was really important for madam_minnie and tqpannie to be able to go and you all helped make possible. My heart is literally exploding with love and gratitude for this entire fandom.

Forgive my lack of eloquence, I have had hardly any sleep in days due to a number of issues. Am still on the road, internet connection is sporadic, but I do have my phone that I can check emails with. I'll be back home tomorrow and capable of normal communications.

Just--thank you to everyone from being wonderful! Know I love you!

Kele


FOR EVERYONE WHO RE-POSTED OUR FUNDRAISER MESSAGE FOR ANNIE & MINNIE ON YOUR LJ, PLEASE POST THIS:

Dear Everyone:
As of 6:45pm EDT, you all have contributed $2,411.29 to our fund to send madam_minnie and tqpannie to the service to celebrate the life of simons_flower, Trisha Hogan Masen. I have transferred all but a small amount to Minnie, since she handled the arrangements. They have purchased plane tickets to Seattle, booked a car and hotel room in the same hotel as Trisha's sister and best friend. She and Annie will meet up in Phoenix and will fly in and out of there, leaning on each other for badly needed support.

I cannot tell you how overwhelmed and amazed I have been at your kindness and generosity. It's been. . .life-affirming. Gifts have ranged from $5 on up to $100, and loads in-between, from all over the world. You opened up your wallets and bled. For some of you, it hurt. But you just couldn't not give. Every time I got an email notice from PayPal, I just shook my head in delight and disbelief. Is this the same group of people who occasionally wank and take great pleasure at hurting each other from time to time? Is this the same fandom that blew itself up over a petty issue like which fictional characters in a series of children's book should marry?

Please know that every amount donated is celebrated and deeply appreciated.

Your messages have been very sweet; I'm printing them out and will send them to Annie and Minnie in the coming days. The common theme was "How could I not contribute. What is so astonishing is the number of people who didn't even know simons_flower/Trisha, never friended her LJ, never read about her struggles with her health, her pride in her daughter, her unique outlook on life, never read her wonderful stories over multiple fandoms. You all contributed simply because you were moved by the outpouring of shock, sadness, and love for a woman who many of us knew to be talented, funny, smart, wise, loyal, and loving and in the end, left us way too soon.

Thank you seems so inadequate, yet it's all I got. I have seen the face of God this week, and she looks just like YOU. Y'all rock the universe.

Go in peace.

abigail89

Am out on the road selling my little heart out. . .But, I wanted to take a moment to just tell you guys THANK YOU! You are all wonderful. I just--wow, I can't even express how deeply everyone has touched me.

I am going to make a long, more gushing post later--but, for now just know that from the bottom of my heart I love all of you and I love this fandom. We are just an amazing group of friends that can really band together to help each other out when need be.

Thank you for being wonderful!

(((hugs you all)))

A community has been set up where everyone can go and share their thoughts, feelings, memories, pictures, etc. of Trisha. How you met her? How she touched your life? A favorite quote from her stories? Pictures, if you have them--They are all going to be used to set up a book for her family. Her daughter can have something lasting that will show her just how deeply loved her mother was. She had friends all over the world and that is something that is precious and everlasting.

http://community.livejournal.com/flowers4trisha

Please go and post your memories. . .

ETA: Yes, PLEASE feel free to post the link to the community in your LJ's. . . That'll help us a lot with getting the word out there. We'd really, really appreciate it!

Also, her family does know she was actively involved in this fandom and enjoyed writing fan fiction. So it's fine to mention her stories.

I've been sitting here with madam_minnie and I'm sad. The two of us have been going through moments where all of sudden one or the other of us will say something and then she starts crying and then I start crying. Life seems very unfair sometimes and we're left asking the great, big question of why.

I'm sure that many of you have heard simons_flowerhas passed away today.

And once again we're reminded that the fandom where so many of us have settled and call home is a huge web of friendship that extends out as far as we can possibly imagine. It is a network that has brought us all together in a way people outside it can't fathom. We all touch each others lives and we all mean things to each other that is every bit as potent and palatable as the friendships we have walking throughout our day. In some ways these friendships are more potent because we've shared bits of our souls with each other and when we lose one of our own--it's like a piece of our soul is now missing.

She touched many lives and she will be missed so very much. Her stories made us warm and fuzzy when we probably needed a pick me up. Her work on The Quidditch Pitch offered us a haven where all were accepted. Her loyalty to her friends was something that impacted countless lives.

Please send good thoughts out to her family and friends--Please remember the girls at TQP who was mourning the loss of a sister. And most of all, remember that she had the most infectious laugh one has ever heard. Really, whenever I thought of Trisha, I remember her laugh that was so joyful and infectious it made one jealous that they couldn't harness that level of joy.

I have procrastinated as long as I can. I am going to edit today. . . There are no more movies to watch on Netflix to distract me. Well, there probably is, but I'm not looking anymore. I am going to edit my story today.

I want to get done if for no other reason than to get back to my werewolves. I miss them like whoa! Plus, I have this sorta weird plan to try and finish both More than Memories and Fire and Ice (I know, where have you heard THAT before) because I have this renewed passion to get them done now that I've proved to myself I can finish things I start. Not to mention getting those done will probably pimp up my fanbase which will be handy if by the grace of the Gods I get my story published.

It's been so long since I wrote Fire and Ice. . .I miss it. Plus, I have the ending written and it's such a cool ending I'd be so sad if it never got out there. I love the way the story and the characters come full circle by the end.

Incidentally, I have the ending written to More than Memories, too--I love doing that, I dunno why. Exciting climaxes (HEH) are too much fun to wait to write, I suppose. Like Fire and Ice, I'm proud of the ending. I'd be doing a disservice to both stories not to finish them.

Anyway--Can't do shit until I edit. Must do that!

Stares at track changes from the amazing madam_minnie, sophiamaria03 and sexysa. Real friends will do an edit on a 120K+ word doc in less than a week. How much do I love them? LOTS!

Really, they edited this bitch--the least I could do is fix the problems.

So, we're watching movies on netflix. . . And deciding to make it a family night we watched Muppets Take Manhattan. My boys had never seen it, never even HEARD of the muppet movies (this makes me feel old) but I sold the youngest on it by mentioning Sesame Street. 13 year old sorta had this look like he wanted to spork his eyes out, especially when I started singing to the opening number--but, he was a good sport and sat and watched it to make Mom and younger brother happy.

Five minutes in I get this comment from my always cynical, very literal son.

Christopher-This is so unrealistic. The government would shoot down puppets walking around without puppet masters.

Me-I think you just traumatized the baby (why my SIX YEAR OLD is still "the baby" I don't know)

Christopher-Liar, I just traumatized you.

Me: Muppets RULE!

Christopher: Whatever.

::Sighs:: I think he's officially a teenager.

Read this short story as a rec from madam_minnie and I totally adored it! You lot MUST check it out. . .I reviewed it since the story was free (we all know how THAT goes--reviewing is the least we can do). Read it, you'll thank me for it. . . Totally hot, totally funny. . . A great read if you need a pick me up! I want to buy more from this author, because his writing style is fantastic!

If not totally obvious--It's M/M. YAY!

<a

I am feeling so meh today. I had a major anxiety attack last night. I get them way too often. I think I suffer from bad post traumatic stress syndrome due to what happened to me at the hospital. It hits me at the oddest times and I am convinced I am going to die. It sucks hardcore. Worst feeling in the world.

Now today I am editing my story and it feels like everything I write is total shit. Like, why do I even bother. Honestly, I love writing the stories. I enjoy them. I believe in them even--but, then you start to realize that likely people aren't going to love them like I love writing them and it's so depressing. Its a hard passion to have. Why couldn't I just adore knitting instead?

I dunno. . . I need to go watch movies. I've been a total fag hag all day and have been watching all the Gay/Lesbian movies on netflix. I finally saw Pricilla Queen of the Desert, a movie I have been wanting to watch for years--quite good, actually. I enjoyed it. Also watched Bedrooms and Hallways, verrah good. Gay british men are always for the win! I'm trying to decide what to watch next?

Suggestions? For real, I need some cheering up!

I finished my first original novel. It's still a rough draft and it needs tons of editing. . . But, the bitch is fucking FINISHED! I can't believe it. The plotting is done, all that is left is smoothing the rough edges and fixing my horrid grammar/spelling.

I finished. . .You guys don't know how HUGE this is for me!

And the last bits had me literally sobbing and crying for hours. . .My head feels like it is going to explode and my eyes are so red and swollen I winced when I looked in the mirror.

Husbank wanted to take my picture. . I told him he was on crack.

Still--I finished, I finished! ::dances::

Now I am going to take some nyquil and pass the fuck out.

I've crossed over to the dark side and decided to start a twitter account. . . Mainly because I am SO CLOSE to finishing my original and I thought it would be important for networking purposes. . . So, I did it under my pen name, Neka Marie. . .But, it'll probably still have all manner of me geeking out HP wise and in other countless ways. . . Once a geek, always a geek. . .

http://twitter.com/Neka_Marie

There's the linky. .. YAY!

:::Begs for Friends:::

Also, saw the movie. ..Liked it a lot. . I dunno if it was my FAVORITE. . .But, I certainly enjoyed it. .. Mainly, I found myself dying for Deathly Hallows. . .There is SO MUCH that I can't wait to see on film from that book!

Hey all. . . Random, drive by post. I know I’ve been totally MIA, I’m sorry. . . I’m nearly done with my first erotic novel. YAY!

Anyway, I went out with a new friend today. She’s Russian and I had SO MUCH FUN talking with her. We spent hours just getting really in-depth about cultures and history and such and I realized that I will never, ever tire of learning about different places and different people.

The writer in me naturally starts grilling someone when I realize they know something about a different part of the world or cultures or what have you that I don’t. And she was so great and so enthusiastic about sharing with me about her family, culture, childhood, beliefs, etc. . . It was a great afternoon and I was telling her about how I have friends online from all over the world and I dunno. . . I just miss you guys! I really, really do. . .I know writing original stuff is lonely, but I just had to tell you all that I love you. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with me!

A very sad day in the entertainment industry. . . I signed on to read about Farrah Fawcett, which is so sad. . . And saw the headline about Michael Jackson. I just sorta gapped at the headline for a bit. . . This is unbelievable. . . Two icons in one day.

:(

Aren't those the best kind! This is for my friend who has been SO AWESOME while I wade through the joys of writing my first erotic novel. She's one of the sweetest people I know and has been a huge support. . . So, heh, if you're feeling a little spicy (come on, you KNOW you are!) check this out. . .

Not sure how many of my LJ friends know that madam_minnie has an erotica site, 3rdLegPress.com where you can post original erotica stories. She also has a Toy Store... a fun adult toy store where you can pretty much find anything you need. :D Come check it out. Click the banner to enter the store.

Summer Reads making you hot? Summer Toys to the rescue!

Hey ya. . . Thought I'd make a real post. . .

We're loving the new place . . . The kids love the pool. . . We ALL love being able to spend lots of time with husbank. . .And it's nice to be a few doors down from tonksnymphadora. . . Plus, madam_minnie isn't far away and we've been able to get together a few times. . . Christopher is constantly asking when her kids are coming back!

My wedding anniversary was yesterday. . . that was awesome. . . Thirteen years of being married, fourteen of being together . . . It is amazing that we never get tired of each other. . .I still adore him more than air. . . he got me bunches of sweet gifts despite the fact that we're still struggling a little and a card that made me cry. . . He is always so thoughtful. . . He goes WAY above and beyond what I would ever expect of him for every occasion. . . I love him like whoa. . . Really, he is the most thoughtful, most considerate man I know and I am so lucky to have him as my mate.

One fail. . . No Gym near us. . .So I decided to start running. . .But, mother fucker. . .I get these horrible knots in my calfs every time I run. . . I mean, knots big enough to see and they HURT! It's on the side of my calfs, not the back. . .I used to get them on the treadmill at the gym too. . .And i never could figure out why I could do the other machines for an hour, but running/walking KILLED me. I am broken, I dunno why. . . It's irritating me as running is my only real form of exercise here. I am going to have to figure it out or work up to it or something.

More than Memories is up at both TQP and SU. . . Yay! For no reason, I started adding more to the end after I got done posted the chapter and I was totally absorbed. . .I really enjoyed it!

Original stuff. . . My original story is going good. . I started a new trio story, this one is a modern story. . .and it's um. . . VERY dirty. . .I pulled back at a few points and was like. . .What is up with my mind! That being said. .I am mad in love with the characters and there are elements of the plot that I am enamored with. It's lots of fun. It has slashy stuff in it, which is always a blast. The only bad part is that original work is such lonely work. . .You can only beg your friends to read so much before you feel like a pest.

Anyway, hope all is well. . . Miss you guys!

Is up at The Quidditch Pitch and should be up at Simply Undeniable shortly. . . The chapter is just sorta a fun, filler chapter that was necessary for plot turns in the future. . . Ginny amuses me in it if nothing else. . .

So, alas, lemme know what you think. . . I feel bad it took me so long to get up. . . I've been REALLY caught up in original writing. . . But, my muse went on vacation and it was as good a time as any to get the chapter up!

Hope all is well!

Okay. . . I think I am nearly done with the next chapter. . .

Do any of my old beta readers want to edit it?

::whines::

Also, in the mean time. . . Have you guys seen the drawing lillywmw did for MTM's? OMG! It is so awesome. . .I am in awe of her talent. . . Seriously, Ron all bare-chested and sexeh with Hermione kneeling between his legs (its from the scene at the start of the story where Hermione was healing his shoulder and then realized he looked pretty good half naked) It's HAWT, I tell you. . .I have spent much time staring at it!

http://lillywmw.livejournal.com/54927.html?#cutid2

Go check it out and leave her feedback. . . because she really does work so hard on every piece of art she does. . .Like I said, I am totally in awe of her artistic skills. . . Man, I wish I could draw! But, I suppose it's a good thing I can't. I wouldn't leave the house!

Oh, before I pass out. . . A shameless bit of self-promotion.

My trio story, The Trick of Love was nominated for the Smutastic Awards in two categories. . . So, if anyone would like to second it for either best threesome or best voyerism, I would love you for it ::grins::

I have been at the RT writers/book lovers conference all week with tonksnymphadora. . . I will not be responsive or functioning until Tuesday. It's been very tiring, but also VERY eye opening and educational. Once I get my brain back after the conference, I will fill you all in.

A few quick thoughts on the world of Romance that I have gathered during this week. . .

What's selling--m/m, erotica, paranormal and African American romances--the trend I am seeing is that older, traditional romance writers are struggling in the market, where as writers that gear towards hotter, more chancy things are doing MUCH better.

A romance writers conference is the oddest mix of people I have ever seen at one conference because the romance genre is SO VAST and encompasses so much, everything from Christian romance (no drinking, no smoking, no swearing, hero and heroine cannot be in the same room until they are married. Chances are I will NOT be writing for this genre) to Erotic writers and EVERYTHING in-between. I went to a menage panel today (YES! HOT! YAY!) and it was interesting when one lady said, "Wait, I don't get it--The guys actually do it? WHY?" I responded with, "Cause it's hot!"

I'm a trouble maker. . .

ANYWAY! Also another important note. . . E-books are the future. . . I went to this conference thinking I would NEVER write one and I have been totally swayed to the dark side this week. Go green, read e-books--They're the future of publishing, they really, really are. I was talking to the head editor at Samhain and I told her that she had completely converted me. She was so pleased to hear it, as that is their goal. The E-book publishers have a shocking strong presence at this conference. I just got back from the Ellora's Cave party--was much fun with LOTS of eye candy.

But, GAWD, am I tired. . .